Vermilion's Comet
by animeflower107
Summary: The effects of one comet could potentially bring in changes that could destroy Fairy Tail, Magnolia, and even Fiore as they knew it. Funny thing is that comet can only affect Fairy Tail (and anyone who happens to be inside it.) Can someone say crackfic? NaLu Gruvia GaLe Jerza and many other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Vermillion's Comet

The effects of one comet could potentially bring in changes that could destroy Fairy Tail, Magnolia, and even Fiore as they knew it. Funny thing is that comet can only affect Fairy Tail (and anyone who happens to be inside it.) Can someone say crackfic? NaLu Gruvia GaLe Jerza and many other pairings.

* * *

Af1-chan: Yo! I've been racking my brain trying to think of the next chapter of Flittering Misfortune (another story I'm writing), but (as a result of watching and reading too many FT crack fics and videos) I have decided to pen this beauty. Well, I'll call it a beauty. What it is to you is strictly designated by your opinion. Lots of pairings, and don't forget to review for the modderlowd! (Long term, reoccurring "joke").

Happy: Anyways, she does not own Fairy Tail, nor any anime in existence. She does, however, own a wack ass keyboard with a wonky backspace that is beginning to not back space right. :(

Mirajane: Warning! This fic is stupid, crazy and ugly, best deemed a crackfic. Please enjoy at your own risk. On to~ the story.

* * *

Lucy Heartfilia awoke to a horribly cool breeze, the sight of a slightly singed ceiling, the smell of burning fish and a strange sound that resembled the growls of a feral wolf pack.

Any normal person would have immediately panicked, but Lucy? Nah. This busty blonde had long since left the realm of normal. Slowly, she turned her head to her right only to come face to face with none other than her guild's pink haired idiot, Natsu Dragneel, snoring both loudly and obnoxiously. His arms and legs were sprawled in various directions and he had managed to steal a good eighty percent of her blanket, leaving only the bottom half of her legs covered.

Lucy glared at the boy, who promptly began to stir as a result. Suddenly, the boy let out an even louder snore before stealing the remains of her blanket from her body. The blonde, clad in only her matching pink boy shorts and tank top, felt her hair stand on as the draft in the room became even worse.

"Nat-su." She growled.

Said boy stirred lightly in response, then kicked her in the stomach.

It was at that moment she decided she had had enough. It was _way_ too early to deal with this shit. She would not cry at the fact that Natsu's bad guy kicking, town destroying, fire spewing feet just dealt her a hard blow to the stomach. No, she wouldn't even whimper. She would get revenge.

Stealthily, she snuck of her bed, tip toed out of her room and into the kitchen. Quickly, she grabbed a bucket (one of many she had lying around) and filled it to the brim with ice cold water.

_Natsu's gonna regret ever setting foot in my house this morning. Mwe heh heh heh._ She thought, accompanying her thought's laugh with an actual evil cackle.

"Lucy? What're you doing?" A childish voice asked from behind her.

_Shit._ She turned slowly to find the blue cat she had forgotten about staring at her suspiciously.

"I'm just taking this ice water to my hot bath so I can create some steam." She replied with a smirk, hoping to fool the cat.

"Steam? What do you need steam for? Do you need to be hidden?" The cat's eyes widened in wonder as he took several steps back from the blonde.

"What?" She asked him, taken aback by his behavior.

"Are you going to do naughty things? Lucy! I never took you fo-" But the cat could not complete his sentence, as the blonde kicked him in the belly so hard he flew out of her front door.

"Damn neko!" She screeched in the direction of her broken door. _That's going to take a lot of rent money to fix…_

Suddenly, she remembered why she was in her kitchen in the first place. The girl quickly snuck back into her room and over to the dragon slayer's side. He was still sleeping like an over grown baby, with the edition of his incredibly loud snoring.

_This is going to be great_. Lucy thought with a smirk. She raised the bucket over her head, preparing herself to give Natsu the greatest shock of his life. Closing her eyes, she tipped the bucket in one fell swoop, splashing water all over the dragon slayer.

No response.

She stared at him in disbelief. That was a bucket of _ice cold_ water she had dumped on him! How could he not react to something like that?! The only thing that happened was the formation of steam in her room!

"This fool-"

"Eh?" Natsu finally moaned, opening one eye. "Luce, what's going on? You're interrupting my sleep."

"This is my room! And you're in my bed! And I just poured water on you, what's up with your reaction?!" Lucy asked rapidly.

"Water?" He repeated dumbly. "I didn't feel anything!" He grinned.

"Eh." Lucy deadpanned. _Of course his hot body would make steam from the cold water. Wait, I might need to rephrase that thought…_

"Ahh Lucy!" Happy yelled from outside her room.

_So the cat finally got back up…?_ She thought in annoyance.

"It's so steamy in here! Perfect cover for you to do naughty things to Natsu!"

"N-Naughty things?" Natsu asked, looking at the blonde in disbelief. Lucy could've sworn there was a slight blush on his face.

"W-What are you talking about you perverted cat?!" Lucy cried in outrage, fighting an intense blush.

"You were going to do naughty things to Natsu! You said so in the kitchen!"

"I did no such thing!"

"Gee Luce. I never knew you-"

"Damare!" Lucy shouted, punching Natsu in the face.

"Lucy~" Natsu moaned, much to the dismay of the blonde.

"Ahh! Natsu, I won't let her soil you!" Happy cried, launching himself at the two. Lucy moved out of the way, leaving Happy to fly into the wall.

Lucy glared in anger at Happy, then at Natsu.

"Jeez. All I wanted to do was sleep, not get perved upon." Natsu grumbled.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Lucy snapped, throwing them both out of her open window.

"Ahh!" The two screamed in unison, falling to the ground.

Lucy slammed her window shut as hard as she could. Stiffly, she walked to the bathroom to her tub, completely forgetting about her ceiling and the smell of her house. The blonde could already tell that today was going to be a horrible day, and it was all thanks to Natsu and his stupid habit of breaking and entering. She filled the tub up with water, and then proceeded to immerse herself up to her eyes in said water. Maybe she could relax for a few minutes before dealing with her guild.

Crash.

Lucy shot up from the bath water, ears on high alert. The crunching of feet seemed to resonate through her bathroom walls. There was a burglar in her house! _Oh no… I don't have my keys and I don't have on any clothes! What do I do?_ She asked herself, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Shit! Happy the window broke!" A voice yelled in a panicky tone.

"Lucy's gonna kill us!" Another voice replied in an equally distressed tone.

_Or maybe a cat burglar and his dragon accomplice…._ Lucy thought, growling like a dog.

"You never got the ashes off the ceiling!" She heard Natsu shout.

"You overcooked the fish, so it's your fault there are ashes on the ceiling!" She heard Happy counter him.

"Lucy's gonna kill us!" Natsu yelled in desperation.

"Twice over!"

"Let's get out of here!"

"Aye!"

Moments later, all was quiet. Lucy sunk into the water to where the water was covering her mouth, but not her nose. She blue bubbles of anger from her mouth, a dark aura surrounding her body.

Today. Was. Not. The. Day.

Little did Lucy know that today was about to get a whole lot worse. Way worse than she could even imagine.

* * *

Af1-chan: Heheh heh. Lucy doesn't even know what's coming for her…

Lucy: A-Af1-chan? *shudders*  
Af1-chan: *notices Lucy is there.* Alright! First chapter is up! I have not seen a crack fic in a while, so I guess I shall supply one! I will update by Saturday. Please review~


	2. Chapter 2

Vermilion's Comet

The effects of one comet could potentially bring in changes that could destroy Fairy Tail, Magnolia, and even Fiore as they knew it. Funny thing is that comet can only affect Fairy Tail (and anyone who happens to be inside it.) Can someone say crack fic? NaLu Gruvia GaLe Jerza and many other pairings.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Af1chan: Please forgive me for taking so long with this chapter, but this is much better than anything I could've produced a few weeks ago. I hope you like this chapter and all that yada. Please check out my profile if you have a minute, I have a poll up there and that's where projected coming soon dates will be posted from now on. Thank you!

Happy: Aye! Af1chan doesn't own this anime or anime period.

Mirajane: Onto~ the story!

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Chapter 2

By the time Lucy had reached the guild that morning, she was in need of strong drink. Natsu and Happy's antics had screwed up her morning from the start, but the events that ensued afterward had really put the icing on her cake.

First of all, she tripped getting out of her bathtub and nearly broke her neck, and while trying to catch herself she freaking broke her sink. The fucking sink. It came right out of the wall, and some piping even came out with it. Unfortunately, since the surface she had planned to catch herself with broke, she fell to the ground face first. She truly considered herself lucky she didn't break her arm or a tooth or anything, but her entire body was hurting like she had just participated in a boxing match between Gray and Natsu.

Then, when she had finally gathered the strength to exit her bathroom, she ended up stepping on pieces of glass from the expensive apartment window Natsu and Happy had broken, and screamed so loud that the windows that they had not broken—well—broke. All the commotion caused her land lady to break down her already broken door in order to make sure that she wasn't being murdered or robbed or anything like that, resulting in the old woman and some random dude seeing her naked.

Once Lucy had finished apologizing, getting dressed and accepting a 50,000 J addition to her already expensive rent, she ventured out onto the streets of Magnolia. She truly thought her day was looking up; the sun was shining, the birds were humming and the breeze was pleasant. She even found a penny!The blonde had walked along the ledge between the street and the river as usual, paying no mind to the shouts from the local boaters for her to be careful. However, on today she really found herself wishing she had listened to them for once, for today she actually managed to fall in for the first time since she joined Fairy Tail, and was swept down river with the current.

By the time she had made the trip from the end of the river to the guild, she had nearly dried off completely, and was in no mood for Natsu's stupidity. She laid her head down at the bar miserably, trying to ignore the yelling match Gray and Natsu were having a few feet away. Levy, Juvia, Wendy, Gajeel and the cats were sitting at a table nearby, talking loudly about something, which also pained her head.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Mirajane asked, looking at her in pity. "You seem like you've been having a bad day."

"A bad day doesn't even begin to cover it…" Lucy grumbled, looking at the bar mage from the corner of her eye. "Natsu broke a window and I stepped on the glass, I was swept down the current, I was seen naked… Stupid Natsu must've charmed my day or something, because ever since I saw him this morning, my life has been just off from shitty."

Mirajane patted the girl on the head, earning a weak glare from Lucy. "It's just because he like-"

"Lucy!" Natsu yelled, interrupting the white haired mage. "You've finally appeared!" He ran over to her as fast as lightening with Happy close behind.

"Go away~!" Lucy whined. "My day is crap thanks to you."

"But Lucy, we haven't done anything." Happy said, taking a seat on her head.

"You broke a window! Among other things..." Her eyes began to water as she looked to Natsu with her teary eyes. "My rent…. MY RENT~!"

"W-What about your rent?" Natsu asked, taking a step back from the crying girl.

She sat up abruptly, causing Happy to fall down to the floor face first. "IT'S NOW 120,000 J NEXT MONTH BECAUSE YOU BROKE A WINDOW!"

"Eh? How expensive was the window?!" Natsu and Happy asked in outrage.

"IT'S NOT JUST THAT, BECAUSE YOU BROKE A WINDOW I BROKE MORE WINDOWS AND MY SINK! NOT TO MENTION MY SCORCHED CEILING AND BROKEN DOOR!" She slammed her head down on the table with such force that the bar shook. "I'm lucky it's only 50,000J extra." The blonde began to sob furiously, much to the discontent of the dragon slayer.

"Oi, Natsu!" Elfman yelled. "You made Lucy cry and drove up her rent? That's not man!"

"I-I didn't mean to…"

"Natsu!" A scary female voice said from behind him. He turned to see none other than the Great Erza, holding a sword to his back. "According to Lucy, she stepped on the glass from the window you broke, resulting in a foot injury." She pressed the tip of the sword into his spine. "I hope you know I cannot forgive this."

"AHH! Lucy! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He groveled, kneeling at her stool. "I'll do anything; just keep Erza off of me!"

Erza put her heavy foot on his back. "You had better apologize!"

"Now Erza…" Mirajane began, looking on at the scene from behind the bar. "Natsu didn't mean Lucy harm, cut him some slack."

Erza removed her foot from Natsu's back. "Perhaps…"

Natsu stood up and latched on to Lucy's defeated form. "Lucy, don't be mad!"

Lucy said nothing, continuing to ignore his cries.

"I'll even pay your-" He paused, stepping back from the celestial mage. "Why are you all wet?" He asked, looking at her in wonder. "Is that my fault too?"

"Natsu! Don't say such lewd things!" Erza shouted.

"Erza!" Lucy yelled in embarrassment.

"Lewd?" Natsu repeated. "I mean like her clothes are wet. What other meanings could there be?" He looked the blonde in the eye in curiosity. "Ah well. I don't know what else could be meant, but I can take care of any other meanings too."

"NATSU, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?!" Lucy questioned in outrage, punching him in the chest.

"That I can dry you off?" Natsu replied, clutching his chest. "Jeez. What's wrong with you guys today?"

"Ah. Of course." Lucy and Erza said simultaneously.

"I'm just gonna leave now…" Lucy sighed, beginning to walk towards the door. She couldn't take much more of this today.

"No! You can't leave!" The bar mage yelled frantically, using her magic to shut the doors.

All eyes latched on to Mira as the guild became silent near instantly.

"Why not, Mira?" Lucy asked, turning towards Mirajane in curiosity.

"C-Cause Master has an announcement to make!" She stuttered nervously.

"Oh. Okay." Lucy replied, walking back to her seat at the bar. "I guess I'll stay for that."

"W-Wait." Erza interrupted, raising an eyebrow. "I thought the Master left for a surprise meeting?"

"Not yet, Erza. He realized something important." Mirajane replied, attempting to ease their suspicion.

"Attention brats!" Master Makarov yelled from his position on the second floor, as if on cue. The guild became silent instantly, anticipating Master Makarov's announcement. "Tonight, none of you are to go home, you are to spend the night in the guild."

"E-Eh?!" Lucy gasped in outrage.

"In fact, do not leave the guild for the rest of the day! A danger will be passing over Magnolia tonight, and the only safe place is inside the guild."

"B-But Jii-chan! What about everyone in the city?" Natsu protested.

"It only affects mages of Fairy Tail! Therefore, if you leave this place, you will be a danger to everyone around you!" He explained. "If you stay in here, the danger cannot affect you."

"Master, what is this so called 'danger'?" Erza asked calmly.

"Vermilion's Comet." Master replied, beginning to pace. "A comet that passes through Magnolia once every hundred years or so, or at least that is what has been passed down from guild master to guild master. It only affects those with the mark of Fairy Tail, though its affects are unknown. The only people who would know what it does are either dead or off somewhere far away, so we cannot take any chances ."

Lucy, Levy and Wendy began to shake in their seats, afraid of what might happen.

"It's okay Lucy, I'll protect you!" Natsu grinned.

"That's what I'm worried about." Lucy said, putting her head down on the bar.

"Don't worry squirt." Gajeel said while rubbing Levy's head, much to her annoyance.

"Don't worry, from what I've been told, the effects should be decreased drastically at this exact point in Magnolia." Master Makarov assured them. "With that, I have to go. I'll be back tonight, dear brats!"

"B-But Master!" Erza protested. "You can't just leave-"

"Yes I can." Makarov interrupted. "Toodles."

Before Erza could protest further, he had disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Master…" Erza growled through gritted teeth. "I still have so many questions…"

"E-Erza please calm down." Lucy said warily.

"Unanswered questions…" She mumbled to no one in particular. A dark aura was surrounding the scarlet haired mage, making it clear to everyone that she would not be calming down anytime soon.

Gajeel, Levy, Juvia, Gray, Natsu, Wendy and the cats gathered around Lucy at the bar, leaving Erza to malfunction alone.

"Let's just leave Erza be for now." Gray said with a sweat drop on the side of his head.

"Yeah. I'm really concerned about this comet." Lucy added.

"Oi Lucy, what's a comic?" Natsu asked.

"A _comet, _Natsu." Lucy corrected him. "It's basically a celestial body that will pass around Earthland."

"That doesn't tell me anything!" Natsu complained. "Celestial body? Like one of your spirits, right?"

"That's not it! Ugh… I don't know how to explain it." She slammed her head down on the bar with great force, making her friends jump in surprise. "You're making my head hurt today…"

"Don't comets have tails?" Happy asked.

"Tails, huh? I wonder if I can grab it…"

"AGHH!" Lucy groaned, hitting her head on the table repeatedly.

"Lucy-san, calm down." Wendy pleaded, casting a frown at the two annoying her. "You know, I can help rid you of excess stress." Wendy said innocently, standing over the girl.

"Oh yeah, how?" Lucy asked, looking at the girl with interest.

Wendy extended her hands toward the older girl, projecting blue light from her hands. After a few moments, the blonde shot up from her seat with a mile wide smile.

"I feel awesome now! Thanks, Wendy!" Lucy grinned. "Though, can you do anything for Erza?" She asked, motioning to her scarlet haired friend who was still muttering to herself.

"No problem! And I think Erza has to fix herself…" Wendy replied with a sweat drop on her head.

Without warning, the doors to the guild were kicked open, letting in a bright stream of light that obscured the faces of the individuals.

"Who goes there?!" Erza asked, snapping out of her trance.

The figures began to walk into the guild without bothering to answer Erza's demand.

"I said… who goes there?!" Erza snapped, chucking a sword at the group of people.

The sword planted itself above the door with a loud _thunk,_ missing the heads of the intruders by a smidgen.

"Erza, is that any way to greet someone? Men!" One of the people asked gruffly.

Upon hearing those words, Erza's skin stood on end. The doors closed, revealing the intruders to be Lyon, Sherry, Ichiya, the Trimens, Jellal and Meredy.

"I-Ichiya!" Erza said, looking on in horror. "And J-Jellal? What are you all doing here?"

"I was just, um, following the trail of an evil doer, and ended up here…" Jellal replied, rubbing the back of his head nervously.

"I came to see _my honey_!" Ichiya replied, putting an emphasis on the words 'my honey'. (He also sparkled, much to Erza's dismay.)

"I came to see Juvia-chan!" Lyon yelled excitedly.

"No one asked you!" Gray shouted from across the room.

The two instantly got in each other's faces and began arguing. Juvia looked on with great interest, presumably rooting for her Gray-sama. Sherry and Meredy took a seat at the bar near Lucy and the gang, ignoring the commotion of the males they had entered with. Jellal, Ichiya and the Trimens followed suit.

"Well, Magnolia isn't a very safe place to be right now." Lucy informed them.

"Why not?" Jellal questioned.

"There's a flying thing with a tail coming through that's gonna make us all cuckoo if we go outside!" Happy explained.

Lucy smacked Happy on the head. "According to the Master, a comet will be passing through here that will affect us Fairy Tail mages, so we have to stay inside here all day and night."

"I see…" Jellal replied, walking over to where Erza was standing. "I shall stay by your side." Noticing the implications of his words, as well as Erza's bright blush, he corrected himself. "T-To make sure you are s-safe through the night, of course!"

"Ah. O-Of course. Thank you." Erza stammered, still blushing.

"You, blue haired man! Get away from my honey!" Ichiya scolded, shooting himself foot-first at the two of them.

"Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't realize she was in a relationship." Jellal said, dodging the short man's attack.

"We are not!" Erza yelled, kicking Ichiya so hard he slammed into the roof of the guild.

"Ichiya-sama!" The Trimens, Ren, Hibiki, and Eve, yelled after him.

"We'll catch you!" Hibiki told him. "Alright men, tri-formation!"

The three got into a huddle and positioned themselves under where they expected Ichiya's body to land. Ichiya fell down from the ceiling and crashed into the floor, much to the Tri-men's dismay.

"Boss!" Hibiki yelled.

"Ichiya-san!" Eve cried.

"Great leader!" Ren shouted.

The three ran over to their fallen leader to see if he was okay, and their commotion was quickly forgotten about by the guild.

"It's weird how we all ended up here at the same time." Meredy commented to Sherry.

"I guess we should go though, considering that Magnolia is dangerous right now." Sherry replied, standing up to leave.

"I agree. Let's go, Jellal!" Meredy called to him.

"Ren, we're going now. Get your friends. Lyon, you too." Sherry said.

"It was nice seeing you guys!" Happy said, waving at the two.

"They haven't left yet, Happy." Carla commented.

"But they're going to." Happy replied.

"No! No one leaves!" Mirajane's voice boomed, followed by a series of locking sounds.

"M-Mirajane?" Lucy said hesitantly.

"You are all trapped here for the night! And now I must take my leave! Mwahahha!" She cackled before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

It went dead silent for a brief moment, as the whole guild was frozen in both shock and confusion.

"Eh?" The entire guild gasped.

"O-Oi, someone try to open the door!" A random guild member shouted.

Jellal ran to the door and tugged on its handles twice. "It's no good."

Erza eyes widened in shock. They were trapped in the knew Mira's behavior was suspicious!

"Just what the hell is going on?" Gajeel shouted angrily.

Unfortunately, Erza had the exact same question.

* * *

Af1-chan: What's going on? What will happen when night falls? How long will they be stuck in the guild? What's going on with Mira and the Master? Why am I asking myself all these questions when I know the answer to all of them? (Okay, most of them.) Don't worry, dear readers. The answer will come in due time. *smirks evilly* Until then, you will have to wait! But don't worry, I will update soon, at least before the 26th. If things go smoothly, I can maybe have two chapters up by then! Let's hope for enhanced creativity and no writer's block, shall we?

Happy: Aye! Review for the modderlowd!

Af1-chan: Oh yeah! Speaking of modderlowds, my first story, Fairy Fourth is like two years old now! I feel so proud! I birthed it and raised it and then set it free… And it's just one favorite away from having 100 favorites! You don't know what that means to me… So thank you to everyone who has favorited that story, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but thanks anyway! If you have time, feel free to check that out as well. Yep, totally advertising right now. Anyways, please review, I like hearing y'all's voices! Oo-oo, and don't forget to check my profile.

Sayonara!


	3. Chapter 3

Vermilion's Comet

The effects of one comet could potentially bring in changes that could destroy Fairy Tail, Magnolia, and even Fiore as they knew it. Funny thing is that comet can only affect Fairy Tail (and anyone who happens to be inside it.) Can someone say crack fic? NaLu Gruvia GaLe Jerza and many other pairings.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Af1-chan: Good morning, afternoon, evening or night. Not much to say, but thanks again to all who reviewed, followed or favorite this story. Remember to check out my profile if you have a minute, I have a poll up there and that's where projected coming soon dates will be posted from now on. Thank you!

Happy: Aye! Af1-chan doesn't own me, nor FT!

Af1-chan: Oh I own you, Happy. I own you. *evil cackle*

Happy: Scary!

Mira: *sweat drops* Onto~ the story

*Please note that af1-chan doesn't really own Happy, 'twas just a joke. (A bad one.)

-.-.-.-.-

Chapter 3

Last time...

_"I guess we should go though, considering that Magnolia is dangerous right now." Sherry replied, standing up to leave._

_"I agree. Let's go, Jellal!" Meredy called to him._

_"Ren, we're going now. Get your friends. Lyon, you too." Sherry said._

_"It was nice seeing you guys!" Happy said, waving at the two._

_"They haven't left yet, Happy." Carla commented._

_"But they're going to." Happy replied._

_"No! No one leaves!" Mirajane's voice boomed, followed by a series of locking sounds._

_"M-Mirajane?" Lucy said hesitantly._

_"You are all trapped here for the night! And now I must take my leave! Mwahahha!" She cackled before disappearing in a puff of smoke._

_It went dead silent for a brief moment, as the whole guild was frozen in both shock and confusion._

_"Eh?" The entire guild gasped._

_"O-Oi, someone try to open the door!" A random guild member shouted._

_Jellal ran to the door and tugged on its handles twice. "It's no good."_

_Erza eyes widened in shock. They were trapped in the knew Mira's behavior was suspicious!_

_"Just what the hell is going on?" Gajeel shouted angrily._

_Unfortunately, Erza had the exact same question._

* * *

"I'm so confused right now!" Levy said, putting her hands on her head in frustration.

"I thought this was the safe place!" Lucy added, beginning to panic. "Where'd she go? What does she mean we're trapped?!"

"She and the Master must be up to something…" Erza commented. "In the meantime, we need to do research on this, 'Vermilion's Comet.' For starters, why is it named after the Fairy Tail first master? Is there any more information available on it? Folklores? Fairy tales? Perhaps it has already affected the Master and Mira? How can we get out?"

"Woah, Erza. You really are smart." Jellal commented, looking at her in wonder.

Erza's face turned a deep, scarlet color. "T-Thank you. A-Anyways, can't one of your spirits do research, Lucy?"

"Oh yeah! Crux can!" Lucy replied, pulling a key from the pouch at her side. "I'll do my best. Open the gate of the Southern Cross, Crux!"

The key glowed briefly before Lucy's stone cross spirit popped out, shrouded by smoke. When the smoke lifted the guild members could clearly see the cross sleeping whilst levitating, much to their dismay.

"Crux! Research Vermilion's Comet!" Lucy commanded, not bothered by his behavior in the least.

Rather than a response, Crux's snores increased tenfold.

"Well, I'm not sticking around for this disaster." Laxus said, walking to the back of the guild. Most of the guild was too stunned to notice him.

"Don't worry, he's just researching." Lucy assured them, looking on at her spirit with approval.

"Right, _researching_…" Gajeel sighed. "This is a pain in the ass."

"He is!"

"Levy, see if there's anything on this in the basement." The scarlet haired mage commanded, ignoring the blonde's protests.

"Hai, Erza!" Levy said, running off to the basement quickly.

"I'll go too." Gajeel said, following the blue haired girl. Pantherlily leisurely floated after him.

"Eh? Why do you need Levy's help if you've got me?" Lucy whined.

"'Cuz your Spirits are a bit… 'off', Luce." Natsu said with a smirk. "But it's okay, you can't be helpful all the time."

"Why you…" Lucy growled, reaching for his neck.

Sensing her killing intent, Natsu fled from his table, knocking over several tables and chairs in the process. Lucy chased after him, refusing to let him get away without inflicting a few bruises.

"O-oi you two, stop running!" Gray shouted. "Lucy go sit down before you hurt yourself!"

"Gray-sama! You care?!" Juvia cried. She looked at the running blonde with murderous intent. "Love rival…"

"Bwahahaha! Lucy you're too slow to catch me!" Natsu cackled.

He knocked another chair over to slow her down, but this simply made her even more speedy and enraged. Natsu, however, refused to be caught, and so the two continued to run laps around the guild.

"Dammit, you're making me dizzy!" Gray yelled angrily.

"Her vixen ways are confusing Juvia's Gray-sama!" Juvia said in anguish. "Juvia knows how to fix you, vixen…" She growled under her breath.

Juvia snaked her way through the guild hall over to a table in front of where Lucy and Natsu had yet to pass. She looked on mischievously at the cackling Natsu and angry blonde, preparing to launch her attack. Juvia glared at the blonde, who was at least 6 feet behind Natsu. Natsu ran past the water mage, failing to notice her in his haste.

_Now's my chance! Love rival!_ The water mage shot out a puddle of water in front of Lucy, who noticed it too late to swerve out of the way. Lucy squeaked loudly as she slipped and skidded into the wall. Her skirt flew up in the process, leaving her panties visible from all angles.

"Bwahaha! Lucy wears panties the color of my hair!" Natsu guffawed, pointing at the dizzy blonde.

"P-Panties…" Gray stuttered, a bright red blush on his face.

"Don't look~!"

"Lucy! How dare you let Gray see your panties! How desperate can you get?!" Juvia shrieked angrily.

"J-Juvia, you've got me all wrong." Lucy assured her. "W-Wait did _you_ put that puddle there?"

Juvia did not want to hear—or answer—that however. She catapulted herself at the upside down girl, aiming for murder. Lucy dodged Juvia's assault and took off even faster than Natsu had, for she was all the way on the other side of the guild before Juvia could even get up. Juvia refused to let her get away and angrily sped after the girl.

"Love Rival!" Juvia yelled.

"Somebody help me~!" Lucy cried.

"Oi Gray, get your girl." Natsu said, pointing toward the cat and mouse game going on.

"She's not my girl, and what the hell am I supposed to do?" Gray asked, butting his head against Natsu's.

"Make her stop chasing Lucy. Go touch her butt or something, perverted stripper." Natsu growled, pushing his head against Gray's.

"You pervy flame bastard!"

"Exhibitionist!"

"You tryna start a fight?!"

"I'll fire you up!"

"I'll freeze your weak flames!"

"Gray! Natsu! This has gone on long enough!" Erza shouted, interrupting their yelling match.

"Shut up!" They yelled in unison.

When they realized who had just reprimanded them, they instantly regretted their words. Erza began to glow scarlet and purple in rage, taking slow, steady steps toward the two fools.

"Did you just tell me to… shut up?" She snarled, making a sword appear in her hand.

"Of course not!" Gray said, holding Natsu's hand in a buddy-buddy manner.

"S-Surely you must be mistaken…" Natsu stuttered nervously.

"I'm mistaken, eh?" Erza asked, a smirk coming to her lips.

"W-Wait! I didn't mean it like that!"

"Natsu you dumba-!"

Gray did not get to finish his sentence, because Erza had already begun a vicious beat down. Their screeches hit octaves that only little girls should have been able to reach, much to the amusement of onlookers. Meanwhile, Juvia was gaining on Lucy, who was still frantically fleeing for her life.

"Can anyone stop them…?" Meredy asked, looking on at the scene in worry.

"This is just another form of love!" Sherry said.

"Really…? I see!" Meredy said, nodding her head in agreement.

"Erza, please calm down!" Lisanna yelled out to her, but to no avail.

"My honey! Stop beating them!" Ichiya tried. He was barely able to dodged a flying sword sent his way.

"OMA!" Crux boomed, waking from his slumber.

Juvia and Lucy's chase and the one sided beat down between Erza, Natsu and Gray ceased instantly. Every head in the guild turned to the cross in anticipation of what he was going to say.

"What'd you find Crux?" Lucy asked, walking over to her spirit.

"There wasn't much information to be gathered on this, Vermilion's Comet, you speak of. Though, apparently its affect depends on the person, and its influence is tripled in this exact spot."

"T-Tripled?!" Lucy gasped.

"M-Master said… it was lessened…" Wendy stammered.

"Master lied….." Juvia growled.

"Perhaps he was misinformed?" Meredy suggested.

"No… That's too naïve." Erza said sternly. "They did this on purpose!"

"Crux, affects like what?" Lucy asked, afraid of the answer he might give her.

"Violence, lust, chaotic and/or dramatic changes in behavior, and more. There really isn't clear detail. I apologize." Crux explained before disappearing into the spirit realm.

A pregnant silence filled the guild, allowing the gravity of what was just said sink in. Visions of Gajeel, Gray, Natsu and Erza destroying the guild and the town danced in Lucy's head, causing her to sweat profusely. Juvia was blushing furiously (she was probably focused on the lust part of the equation) and Wendy looked as if she had seen a ghost.

"I don't want to be in here with all you monsters under the effect of the comet! GET ME OUT!" Wendy shrieked, breaking the silence.

"W-Wendy calm down…" Carla said, attempting to comfort the girl.

"C-Calm down?" Wendy repeated slowly. "I WILL NOT! GET ME OUT OF HERE! NATSU'S GONNA EAT ME!" She began to sob furiously.

"I w-wouldn't eat you…" Natsu said sweat dropped.

"Eating people is not man!" Elfman interjected.

"Natsu! This is all _your_ damn fault." Lucy snapped, causing him to jump backwards in surprise. "If _you_ hadn't fucked up my morning, this wouldn't have happened. It always starts with _you!_" She kicked him in his right shin as hard as she could.

"Good one!" Gray shouted from across the way, though he went unheard by all except Juvia.

"Ow! L-Lucy calm down, that's not nice!" Natsu whined, hopping up and down on his uninjured leg. "What I did this morning had absolutely nothing to do with this!"

"You're always sneaking into my bedroom!"

"You know you want me there." He smirked.

"P-PERVERT!" Lucy yelled, fighting and intense blush. She kicked him in the other shin even harder than she had the first time. Natsu fell to the ground, crying out in pain.

"Good job, Natsu! Get some!" Cana laughed drunkenly from across the room.

"This is not the time to get drunk!" Macao and Wakaba yelled in unison.

"Let the lady be." Laxus hiccupped. "It's more fun this way."

"Laxus is smashed?!" Wakaba asked in shock.

"I didn't even know he was a drinker!" Macao added.

"Laxus! You're tarnishing your honor!" Freed said, an embarrassed blush spreading across his face.

"Oh s-shuttt up you weird green guy." Laxus slurred.

"MASTER LOCKED ME IN HERE WITH LOONIES AND DRUNKS~!" Wendy cried.

"Wendy please…" Carla pleaded, rubbing the girl's leg in soothing motions.

"Wendy, it's okay. I won't let Natsu-nii and the others soil us." Romeo, who had apparently been there the entire time, said, attempting to make her feel better. Her sobs only lightened by a tad, however, and a large puddle of tears had already gathered around the girl.

**Meanwhile…**

Erza watched as Levy walked up to her, looking nervous and disheveled.

"You guys… the door to the basement was locked." Levy explained. "I couldn't get any more information on the comet."

"That was a long time ago, Levy…" Erza said, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Oops! I'm sorry!" The bluenette apologized.

"Where have you been all this time?" Jet and Droy asked suspiciously.

"I-In the guild, of course." She replied, a slight blush hinting her cheeks.

Gajeel walked past her with a large smirk on his face, Pantherlily floating not too far behind looking uncomfortable. The two glared at slightly disheveled black haired Dragon Slayer angrily.

"Don't tell me…" Jet growled.

"I-It's definitely not what you think!" Levy stammered.

"Gihee!" Gajeel laughed. "I ain't did nothing! Not like it should matter to you two anyway!"

"You trying to start something?" Droy asked angrily, balling his fists at his side.

"Let's show this guy why he can't touch our lady!" Jet yelled launching himself at Gajeel.

"Alright! Fat Ass and Slim Jim, don't blame me if I cause some boo-boos!" Gajeel grinned, launching himself into a fight with Levy's team mates.

"SOME ONE HELP ME~!" Lucy cried elsewhere.

Erza looked on to the scene in front of her in horror. Various guild members had started skirmishes around the guild. Wendy had begun crying hysterically again, and both Romeo and Carla were frantically trying to keep her calm. Happy was accusing Pantherlily of looking at Carla's butt; Natsu had somehow gotten sucked into the fight between Gajeel, Jet and Droy; Laxus and Cana were laughing drunkenly; Lucy was running away from angry Juvia while Gray looked on at the scene in the buff; Levy was looking bashful; the Trimens and Ichiya were giving her the creeps… Chairs, bottles, mugs and the occasional person whizzed through the air. In a short, the guild was in utter chaos.

"Oi! Calm down everyone!" She yelled, but to no avail.

A large cup whizzed past Erza's head, and she barely dodged a flying chair. She shot swords out in every direction, but that did absolutely nothing to alleviate the situation (though one did manage to knock Ichiya out). For once, it seemed as if she couldn't stop the chaos. _Even I am no match for this…_ the armor clad mage sighed, looking on at the scene dejectedly. She sat down under the bar counter, hoping that the time would fly by.

"Erza, are you alright?" Jellal asked, taking a seat next to her.

"Yeah… All this madness is causing me to malfunction." She replied.

"Malfunction? The Great Erza?" He teased, noting the slight blush on her cheeks. "At any rate, this can't continue. Try to corral them again."

"I'll do it!" Erza said, standing up with a newfound drive. "YOU IDIOTS! STOP RUNNING AROUND LIKE FOOLS AND SIT DOWN!" The red head ordered.

Her voice resonated throughout the guild hall, causing many of the guild members to cease their behavior. Unfortunately, more than half of the guild failed to hear or completely ignored her order, much to her annoyance.

"These imbeciles…" She growled under her breath.

"Here, let me try." Jellal said, placing a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. "Fairy Tail! We need to focus on getting out of here, rather than fighting!" He shouted as loud as he could.

His nicer approach did little to nothing to affect the situation. If anything, the guild had gotten even more rowdy. A stray chair flew in their direction, hitting Jellal in the face so hard he was knocked off of his feet.

"Jellal, are you alright?" Erza asked, looking at her fallen comrade in worry. "Your nose is bleeding…"

He sat up slowly, his face clouded by a dark aura. An evil smirk adorned his pretty blue face, giving Erza the chills.

"J-Jellal…?"

"SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Jellal roared, shooting a magic beam into the air.

A hushed silence took over the guild, as everyone was surprised at what he had done.

"Thank you, Jellal." Erza said with a sweat drop. "Misbehave again, and I will certainly punish you all." She death glared at them all, especially at the main trouble makers. "Anyways, for now, everyone just go relax. We'll get out of here, on my honor."

"S-Sorry, Erza-san." Wendy apologized bashfully.

"It's okay, Wendy. Everything will be alright." Erza replied with a tender smile. "In order to get out, we need a game plan!"

"Elfman, Wakaba, Macao, Meredy, Evergreen, and Laki, focus on finding a way out." Jellal commanded. "Wendy, please detoxify Laxus, and Romeo, calm Freed down."

"Ehh~, leave me be, this is fun!" Laxus hiccupped.

"LAXUS! Get a hold of yourself!" Freed shouted frantically.

"Roger!" The two kids said, saluting.

"Why do I have to work with these buffoons~?" Evergreen whined, storming over to where most of her group had gathered.

"Who gave you the right to order us around?" Natsu grumped.

"Yeah!" Gray and Gajeel said in unison.

"Natsu, stop being an idiot. Gray, Gajeel, same for you." Erza said, shooting them murderous looks before continuing. "Lyon, Sherry, Trimens revive Ichiya. Lucy, call Crux back out and see if he can gather more information. Lisanna and Kinana, search Mirajane's workspace for clues. Exceed squad, do your thing. Jet, Droy and Nab, be useful. Levy, take Cana and Gajeel to try and get in the basement again. This time, no foolery." Erza ordered.

"Aye sir!"

"We shall help Gajeel!"

"I-It wasn't what you think…"Levy said, walking towards the back of the guild.

"Gihee."

"Alright~, Cana-chan won't allow any kissy kissy business between you two!"

"C-Cana!"

"Kissy…?" Jet repeated in shock.

"Levy~!" Droy cried.

"We're useful…" Nab sighed.

"Finally, Warren, make sure everything goes smoothly and Max, keep track of the time." Erza said.

"Hai, Erza! It is now 6:00 pm." Max informed her.

"Come again?" Jellal asked, looking at him incredulously.

"It's six pm…" Max repeated warily.

"S-Six?" Erza gasped.

"We're gonna die~!" Wendy yelled.

"Wendy, it's okay! Just heal Laxus!" Freed begged, ignoring Romeo's feeble pats on the arm.

_How could I let all this time pass…? Where did the time go…?_ Erza thought, kneeling down on the floor in defeat.

Chaos began to bubble within the guild again. Sensing this change, Jellal decided to step in. "Minutes must not be wasted! Night fall is upon us!" The bluenette shouted out, covering for the distraught Erza.

"Hai!" The guild members sang out in unison before beginning their tasks.

"Crisis avoided." Jellal said, offering the scarlet haired mage his hand.

"Yeah. Thanks, Jellal." Erza smiled taking his hand.

Unfortunately for these conflicted lovers, within a matter of hours, the chaos that had already ensued in the guild would be pushed to levels it had never reached before, and calamity was bound to ensue. And little did they know that they were being watched.

-.-.-.-

Af1-chan: I don't even know what has transpired in this chapter. The comet hasn't even passed yet, and all of this happens… Wow. I hope you enjoyed, for it has actually gotten crackfic-y and stuff. I updated before the 26th, whoo! (Barely -.-) Bear with me as school is starting tomorrow and my school is… difficult to say the least. I will get an update out as soon as I can! The action starts next chapter! Expect two to three more chapters! Oh! And don't forget to review, I'm kind of nervous about how this chapter was received. I tried to make it make sense while keeping it… uh, weird I guess. Like it, hate it, WTF it, please review! It'll make coming home from school even sweeter. Thank you. Until next time, Af1-chan out!

* I hope this morsel has satisfied your appetite!I'll edit this more when I get the chance. If any error in particular bothers you, please don't hesitate to tell me!

** I know this chapter probably wasn't the best. I'm working hard to improve my writing, so sorry about this in between stage.

*** It's 12:30! :O I have school tomorrow/in a few hours! Keep me in your hearts, and please wish me the best of luck, creativity and brain cells! Good night, dear readers.


	4. Important Notice!

IMPORTANT NOTE~!

Hey guys, it's me, AF1-Chan. Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that the next chapter for this story is either a. nearly complete b. halfway complete or c. fully planned out. The bad news is that my laptop, which all of my files are on, is refusing to charge. I was waiting until I had finished writing each chapter to post to fanfiction. Unfortunately, I cannot work on or get my chapters off of there, and I really don't want to retype all of them. However, as soon as this problem is resolved, expect an update. I'm sorry to those of you who were expecting a new chapter for this story or my others… I am just as upset as you are. Ironically, it seems as if a lot of fanfiction authors have been having computer problems lately. :/ Hopefully my computer will be fixed soon. Until then, I guess I'm signing off. Please don't unfollow this story or anything of that nature, I just wanted to give you guys a reason as to why I haven't posted yet.

Thanks for all y'all's support and love.

~Af1-chan


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